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Superficial world. We live in.

by melmonica on May 29th, 2013

 

Note: This post was written in the middle of Feb. Was going thru my draft and thought that i should post this since i already susah payah write it wtf. My thoughts and voice, back then. Enjoy! 🙂

 

Le sigh. It’s been a while since I posted something. My unpublished, unfinished drafts are increasing at an alarming level. Don’t know why i always write but never seem to publish them 🙁

And worst is, i always have a lot to say when i’m lying on my bed. But once i’m in front of my laptop, my mind just goes blank.

 

Okay, so let’s start what’s new with me!

 

My new 2nd hand phone has arrived. I got the same model – HTC Sensation XL (for NZD150). Tangan gatal wanted to get Samsung Galaxy S3 but it’s NZD400. Way over my budget. I’m a backpacker. Not some luxurious traveler. Initially i wanted to get spare parts to fix my phone but after researching on the internet, NZ and US website are selling HTC XL spare parts for >NZD250. So 냄새 suggested that i get a second hand phone from Korea. And the phones in Korea are so fucking cheap lor. Apparently, you can get the phone for free or $1 with telco contract. And you’re bounded to the contract for just 3 months and each month you’re required to pay like $30 only. Thus, after the contract expires a lot of people sell their phone on the internet at dirt cheap price. I couldn’t believe it either. Thank goodness for le Korean bf 🙂

 

Other than that… i am no longer working in Talley’s at the mussel factory. Due to their very short working hours, i quit and am now working in the apple packhouse. As luck would have got it, on my first two days of work, i am not even working 6 hours/day wtf. But the pay is slightly higher NZD14/hour and I can work in both day and night shift (8am – 9pm) Work die me wtf. Only 4 more working weeks till I start traveling <3

 

Honestly, i am slightly scared about traveling. I am so comfortable and used to my plans working accordingly that the thoughts of making new plans are kinda scary. The other day i was so gung ho planning my Cook Island trip. The whole cost of traveling (3 flights), accommodation and meals cost NZD1k. Actually, it’s consider reasonable already la if not i have to spend NZD400 to change my visa to a visitor visa here. But the coward in me was scared to book it. NZD1k for 5-7 days is very heartbreaking lor. I worked so hard to earn money here leh. And to you people who thinks that I have a good life here, SCREW YOU! Just because I didn’t talk about any down moments doesn’t mean my life is a bed of roses here.

Do you know that i worked so hard to save money? Funny thing is on the first week of 2013, i have NZD3k. And only 6 weeks later my saving hits 4k. So now i have resorted to eating instant noodles more often T3T. Damn sad case wei. But i compensated with some good NZ’s one of a kind meat once a week. Last week i had rissoles. This week i had some beef and cheese thingy. Oh this reminds me that i need to learn to make lasagna before i leave because once you start traveling, you have no choice but to eat out all the time. I don’t want to carry my pantry all over NZ lor please.

 

I kept counting down my weeks left with 냄새 just so he will sayang me more. Can’t believe we’ve been together for almost 4 months. Longer than 3 months of summer. So… time to  *cough cough* #hamsapface. Haha. Sometimes my friends have to remind me that I have a boyfriend. In my defense the love-of-my-life type of boyfriend and a traveler boyfriend is 2 totally different thing. Some of the FAQs about our relationship is, “What will happen after this trip?” Honestly, i have no fucking idea. We never really talk about it. We are trying to be in this relationship for as long as we can. Which means it is pretty fragile. The only plan we have is me go for my solo trip, end May the both of us will return to Malaysia and then he will return to Korea. Odd thing is he never invited me to Korea wtf. I’ll admit i wana go cos i don’t want to return to reality that soon. And just for the record, i actually didn’t invite him to Malaysia one wtf. Initially it was a plan to bring Michael (the hot HK guy) around Malaysia with Ozias. Then Ozias was like, “Eh why you never invite your bf wan ah wtf.” Then he invited on my behalf. Anyway, that time we were like 1-2 weeks together? I didn’t want to put any pressure on the relationship. Surprisingly, he agreed.

 

Please don’t get me wrong if you think i’m not being serious in this relationship. I was working really hard in this relationship from cooking meals to not swearing at all (fucking hard to do ok) to being an understanding and tolerate all the miscomm & temperamental bullshit. Since Koreans are ta nan ren, i have stopped expressing my thoughts as it is deemed rude in his culture *swallows pride*.

We kinda had this major argument which resulted in cold wars for a few days. That few days was the worst days of my life in NZ. I wanted to run away from this place. I wanted to just be away from all the negativity. I even searched for cheap flights to Invercagill. Anywhere, as far as possible. The fight broke my soul. It has shifted my perception on him. It has instilled fears into the relationship. 1 month ago, i would do whatever it takes to be with him after the trip. But the fight was a reality check for me. I started comparing (i know i shouldn’t) the sacrifices that we made. I was giving more than receiving. I wasn’t complaining at that time nor now actually. Just that i have promised myself instead of giving my all into the relationship, i should channel some energy to loving myself. Thus now, I only cook like twice a week for him. Cannot pamper him too much jor.

 

It’s just a weird phase in the relationship. After the fight, i still love him. At the same time, i am terrified to love him like before. I am afraid of being discarded again. I am afraid of broken heart. I am afraid that he will morph into a stranger that looks at me in disgust. Nobody knows the pain i went thru.

Sometimes i wonder how did we fall in love with each other? Our personalities are different in every possible way. He is an introvert geek while i’m a social butterfly. He loves being confined in the bedroom walls while i rush to explore NZ whenever the opportunity arises. Thus, we do not have much pictures together because he is very indoorsy, a creature of habit who is very attached to his laptop.

This picture was taken during the recovering period from the fight.

We are not the conjoined twins type of couple. Which was great cos i overheard his conversation with our landlord about foreigners’ level of English. People assumed that his English has improved tremendously since we started dating but he said, “Actually when we first met, I couldn’t speak proper English. The feelings that we have for each other is what connects us.” (okay i may have taken the liberty to paraphase him) I was surprised that he would say something sweet cos after the fight, i was half-dunzo. I still love him but i learn to care a little less so that i won’t feel too hurt.

Nevertheless, 4 more weeks of rotting in Motueka. I really can’t wait to travel NZ. I’ve been doing a lot of research on the things to do – i wana do trekking! i wana go for cave adventure like this! And not forgetting swimming with the dolphin. Why the things i wana do is freakin’ expensive 1. NZD300 for the cave thingy and NZD200 for swimming with the dolphin. Now i’m not even sure if i have money left to do skydiving anot. Sei for.

 

Ok la. I will not bore you anymore. Come i show you this.

Mok and I were invited to Elena’s farewell. 냄새 was invited too but i ran out of excuses to cover for him wtf.

Maca (Chile) and Mok (Congo/ Korea)

I’ve been tutoring Maca English 1 hour/ day for NZD10. #anythingformoney

 

Majority of the attendees were Spanish speaking people. It was so cool to be in that environment <3

Hola! Mi nombre es Melissa.

My body is your masterpiece. Guess who was the artist?

 

A Spanish girl (my first friend from Spain!) did my hair. She attached some colourful strings on my hair and it will last for a couple of months 😀

 

One of the best thing in life – meeting fresh new faces from different part of the world.

 

Please wish me luck and give me the strength to book my flights to Cook Island >.<

 

 

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