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Dark Paradise

by melmonica on April 20th, 2013


SO SO OUTDATED!!! I’m sorry people. My blog can’t keep up with my life. So imma just going to make this short and sweet wtf.


Jay/ Ashton whatever and I broke up early March. Truth be told, we broke up twice.

Writing this 6 weeks after the break up actually puts a smile on my face. Honestly, it makes me laugh. Almost like the world wrote a bad joke for you and you don’t understand it at first. Then 6 weeks later only you geddit wtf.

The reasons of our breakup are totally ridiculous. I’m a little embarrassed (for him) to put it up here.

All I can say is, I’ve never met a guy who has the personality traits of a childish extraordinaire. At the age of 28, it’s so amazing to see an adult acting like a child. Literally, like a child. Like throwing beer bottles on the floor, hitting the wall and door, being aggressive by hitting himself just cuz he couldn’t fully expressed his thoughts.

When the first aggression happened, I was mortified. After that, I sort of get used to the aggression and watched him like I’m watching a kid rolling on the supermarket floor because his mommy won’t buy him those packets of chips.

I could actually live with this kind of behavior. Really. Nobody is perfect and I’m willing to accept his flaws as long as he accepts mine. And sadly, my flaws according to him is, “Speaking my mind.” I don’t know… maybe in the Korean culture or just him really, a lady who speaks her mind is deemed rude.

Which to me is so freaking sad. And that is something that I could not live with. What’s the point of living if you could not voice up? What’s the point of living if your thoughts and opinions are considered taboo regardless how harmless it is?

And we mutually decided it’s dunzo. Of course I was sad when it happened but honestly, at first it felt like a huge slap on the face.  I was really putting in a lot of effort in this relationship. I was a dreamer in love. But now, I’m a realist.

It was a little hard to live as a break-up couple because we continued living in the same room. To avoid (further) arguments, we just don’t talk to each other. Ignorance is what we do best.  For 4 freakin’ weeks.

They say ignorance is bliss. But I can’t live with it. So, I occupied myself with lots of activities, cooking and baking. And honestly, that was the best damn thing I’ve ever done for myself in Motueka! I was really “living”. Surrounded myself with happy, positive people like Maca, Mok and Janin. Oh gosh, this means I need to blog about them. I love you people! <3

Ok my laptop battery is low. Gotta start planning for the rest of my trip!


PS: this post was written on the 19th April. After all the awesome things that I had done. Thank you to every single god in the world for blessing me with an amazing life. The quote “When one door closes, another opens.” is so damn true. So don’t sweat on the bad things in life. Move on and things will go your way in no time 🙂

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