4th September – A date used to be important to me. A date which I used to celebrate. A date which I used to look forward to every year. However, this year, it’s just going to pass me by like any other day except that I’m sick and staying in from work.
The first time I was sick which was on Saturday (few days ago), I slept for 15 hours straight. I just KO-ed on my bed and didn’t move to even go to toilet (i think). On Sunday, I think I recovered a bit. Called Bryan to wish him happy birthday and that was the happiest 5 minutes phone call EVER haha. I don’t know how much it cost me but I’m happy that it made him happy and I was in good mood for the entire day (even looking forward to work though).
Monday came and went to work only to find out that the owner of the vineyard ask us not to go to work cos it was pouring. Then came home and surfed the net. I was feeling pretty well until don’t know why at 12 noon, I suddenly feel so cold and went into the room and started to cover myself with blanket and KO on the bed. Outside I was shivering like mad but I can feel my body temperature is hot. And then I think I KO for 14 hours straight.
So now that I’m up, I read some random blogpost written by a younger me wtf and boy it still makes me giggle like a little child. The language I used, the things that I used to do… OMG… I was so carefree and happy and crazy back then. As we grow older, reality sinks in and we’re condone to the rules and obligations of life and I’m determined not to fall into that trap. What’s nice about blogging is you can randomly go through your previous post and see how much you’ve grown and mature over the years and for that I’m thankful for every single thing that happened – be it the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever in the past have certainly shaped the person that I am now.
One of the most interesting post I wrote last year is this and a year later I still look for the same thing in a guy. I want a guy that understands me. That is on the same page as me in terms of thinking and POV on certain topics. In that post, I wrote about my ex who is similar to me in every imaginable way (except that I’m Eng ed, he’s Chinese ed). I want to be honest in my blog and not afraid of saying what I want. So here it goes. As this date come closer, I think of you even more. I wanted to reach out to you but for the better of both parties, I stopped myself. Serves me right.
This song is so therapeutic. My theme song for this blogpost wtf.
On another note, a couple of months before I left Malaysia I got to know this guy and went out. For that 2 days of hangout session, it’s insane how I understand myself better when I talk to him. He was so inspiring, so knowledgeable in arts, political science, history – all the geeky stuffs that I’m interested in wtf. And I’m quite happy that he’s not afraid of being himself like letting me split the bills (some guys just don’t want to do that cos they wana impress you in that way and wants to fit into the society perception bla bla) but I’m glad that he’s not like any other guy. Though I don’t see him anymore but if there is a guy that I want my child to grow up to be, it would be him. Not afraid of choosing the road not taken, making the fear of the unknown into curiousity, believing that he could be anything he wants to. This is the type of guy i want! Unfortunately he’s in Malaysia, I’m here… I won’t reveal who he is for fear that you bitches will snap him away from me haha. We’re still friends nonetheless and he’s in the list of people I look up to and respect 🙂
I’m not sure if he reads my blog or not but this song was played during one of the hangout session.
Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about boys at the moment. I should focus on self development and self actualization. The other day when I was sick yet working, I actually hated myself for being determined. Physically I was damn exhausted, not fit to work, feeling weak but mentally, it was asking me to keep working albeit slow but since I’m in the vineyard already might as well work wtf. Sometimes, I don’t know why the conscious in me is so positive that even every fiber of me is dying but the mind goes, “No no you can do it!”. Maybe that’s the reason why i still can survive in NZ alone wtf.
I’m asking around for simple how-to-cook meals. It would be great if you know any recipe that I can cook. Anything will do! I’m not fussy when it comes to food. Just email me at email@example.com
Have a good week ahead ^^